Sometimes i write in english as if no one except me will understand. That makes me feel better somehow and ofcourse i know i am not the only one in the damn world who knows it. Speaking a foreign language has never been a privilege for me although the others thinks in the opposite way. Damn you are right.I have spent 7 years for learning and besides my family has paid a fortune for that. As i am facing this fact all the time , i dont care if you cant understand even a word.

Is it a confession or just an explosion of anger ? Name it as you wish. I am sick and tired of suffering the same problems i have for years. The solution is myshelf you may say. Fuck the solution! If everything had been possible by the help of desire , everybody would a winner in life. There would be no tragedies then. My belief which shall not be understood as holly completely and a hope keeps me still on foot. I give a try everytime but this time i am really bored and tired.I am not waiting for a miracle. I just let it go.

Fuck those people who just knows to give advices but has done nothing to change their misarable lifes and seem as happy. Fuck all those degenenate relations which makes me feel to vomit. Fuck all those brainless girls around me whom i really loved just 2 and the others have no value rather than trash. Fuck all the those bastards which i have satisfied their egos as a soldier in military because of a must and bosses that i have worked with.There are so many other issues that i may use the word f.u.c.k.

You have seen enough swear and you still keep reading it. Conguratulations. If you may bear to hear more stay beside me please. This guy is no more cute and kind.